We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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