true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
