Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
