you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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