ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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