Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
