I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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