can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
