went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
