guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so let's talk penis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
