I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
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This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How external is "for external use only"?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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