he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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