nut hugger
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
