Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
zippers are such a cool invention
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
