We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
