I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
