it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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