idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
