oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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