First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
