Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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