fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
