It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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