I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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