Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
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Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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