: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
