We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
