Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
