If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Sober January is a disaster.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
A+ Viking dick
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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