his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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