he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
