She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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