I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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