New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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