My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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