i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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