STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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