I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
