too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize