this beer tastes like vomit already
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
