im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
