you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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