So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
