so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
