So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
should my penis look like a turkey
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
