okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
