after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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