i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
