Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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