He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
