why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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