whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize