I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
