He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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