New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize