I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Plan B is the new Plan A
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
