We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
