Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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