y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
