Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Damn victory sex feels great
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
