And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My feet surprised me
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