Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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