just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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