i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You took a bar mat shot.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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