used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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