I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
should my penis look like a turkey
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
