So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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